My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
