I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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