I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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