Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
