We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
