You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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