Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
