3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize