grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
