This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
