Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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