what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My hand turned me down
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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