she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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