I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
