Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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