she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
