You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
