We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
