he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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