oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
