omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
