Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
