i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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