i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Four minutes until I can fart!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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