i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
