I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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