Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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