I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
