Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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