Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
a search helicopter?!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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