i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
