There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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