never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize