well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
