i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
