I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
