Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
