im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
