Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
