I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
