once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
