he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
