okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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