Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
