whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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