she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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