Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
