It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
