I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
