I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
