My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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